For couples who wish to understand their relationship at a deeper level — and who are ready to go beyond the surface.
When we fall in love, it is not random. The unconscious draws us towards a very specific type of partner — one who possesses the sides of ourselves that we had to shut down in childhood in order to be lovable and avoid rejection. In meeting this person, we feel whole again — it is the rush of falling in love, driven by biology and by everything we brought with us into that meeting.
But the same person also carries something that will sooner or later touch us precisely where we are most vulnerable. Not because they wish us harm — but because it is inseparably connected to the falling in love itself. The two sides are inseparable — what lifts us and what hurts us have grown from the same soil.
As the rush of falling in love fades, we see the partner’s wounding side more clearly. The two partners’ wounds intertwine and create a repeating conflict pattern — the mythic knot. What once attracted us now becomes the source of conflict.
This is where many give up — but it is precisely here that the opportunity for growth lies. When we understand that our partner does not create our pain, but merely activates something old within us, a path opens to a much deeper connection.
Many couples have already tried talking through their conflicts — and found that it only helps for a while. It is not because you are doing it wrong. It is because the conversation rarely reaches what is really at stake.
The Mythic Knot method goes a layer deeper: What does each of you bring into the conflict? What is it in your own history that is activated when it hurts the most? When we understand this, the dynamic itself changes.
A course of therapy typically spans 10–15 sessions — you can stop at any time.
We unfold the dynamics of your conflicts and I build a thorough understanding of you and your pattern.
One of you shares their childhood story while the other listens. I ask questions. Next time, it is the other’s turn.
I present my understanding of your mythic knot dynamic — the deeper reason you repeatedly enter into conflict.
You make a joint promise about ground rules for how conflicts will be handled going forward.
We work with current conflicts and integrate the parts of yourselves that have been exiled since childhood.